Friday, July 31, 2009

Dear Mom, the finance internship is going great...


Someone snapped this poor kid on the Merrill Lynch bull this morning and I have nymag.com's Daily Intel to thank for seeing it, who has Dealbreaker to thank, who has a less than compassionate witness with a camera phone to thank.

For God's sake, someone at least try to wake him up. I don’t know what I would have done, but I think I'm a good person. People are always saying, "she's so kind and selfless." I’d at least get him a towel or a 3 dollar pair of shorts at Duane Reade and save him some ounce of what dignity he had 4 hours and 15 drinks ago. After I took a picture of him with my phone, of course.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Somebody buy a car, so we can make burgers


People always talk about how tough it is to live in New York, “it’ll chew you up and spit you out” kind of thing, and maybe when Liza Minnelli recorded that song in 1977 that was the case, but I’ve never found it to be true. I can make it here (I have so far, anyway, if the term “make it” is used pretty loosely), but I don’t think that necessarily means I can make it anywhere. I probably wouldn’t do so well somewhere like the Congo, for example. I don’t speak French and I think it’s really hot there. Anyway, the 80s were rough for New York, but Giuliani cleaned up the city and now it’s puppies and ice cream, so aside from ridiculous rent and that guy who flashed us on the subway, living here is usually a walk in the park. Usually. Transporting anything bigger than a tomato is another story.

IM from Dan just now:
i wonder if i can get a grill in a cab

I hope so, I'm starving.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Rollin'


This was a tough call because I’m pretty lazy, but I’m also pretty cheap and as my bank account’s luck would have it, this time cheap won. A few 6-packs are cheaper than hiring painters, so I guilted my friends into helping me paint my new apartment last night and it’s good thing, because I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I painted 1/3 of a wall when Chris Chapple bought his apartment 2 years ago, but other than that I’d never painted anything in my life except for those ghetto houses in Waco in college and no offense, inner city Waco, but I wasn’t all that worried about the quality of work I was doing. And I hadn’t even had a few beers doing that. Ha, it was college…yeah, I had probably had a few beers.

Anyway, the apartment looks dope (I live in Brooklyn now) so shout out (told you) to my paint crew. Props. Or something.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Found: Apartment, Will to Live


I feel extremely unorganized and unprepared for the impending move, but I’m getting yelled at for the lack of recent posts. I’m sorry! I haven’t even had time to watch ANY of Today Throws a Wedding, if it makes you feel any better, and I love that crap. I don’t even know their names this year, and I used to vote online and everything. I know, I’m gross. But what if that poor girl ended up with that hideous dress and it’s all my fault because America has horrible taste and I didn’t vote! I couldn’t let that happen. Thanks to the horrendous nightmare that is moving in this damn city, this year’s bride didn’t have me on her side. I don’t even really care about wedding stuff and I don’t know that girl, but unless she kicks puppies for fun or killed her entire family, she doesn’t deserve to have to wear a heart-shaped diamond ring.

If America didn't come through for you, 2009 Today Bride, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help. The good news is that I found an apartment, so congratulations to me. If you haven't already, you should start thinking about what you'd like to get me for a housewarming gift. And don't try to get away with that Italian thing of giving a loaf of bread and a penny. I don't care about symbolism and I'm not Italian.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I have a headache


This month may very well kill me. The never-ending debate of space versus location. If I end up dying of indecision and stress, remember me fondly. Tell the world my story.

Monday, July 6, 2009

I'll be back



I haven't posted in a week. Apartment hunting has temporarily taken over my life. I'm no happier about it than you are.

*this Arnold pic totally matches this month's header.