WTF (not watch this fall)

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Here's the gist, if you don't want to listen to Ann talk to this girl like she's 8 years old: a "serial robber" came into an office in midtown and stole a purse, but left his DNA on a cup of water. They caught him, because this girl saved the cup. Good for her, but that's not the point. They can track this guy down with DNA for stealing a damn iPod, and they can't find the piece of shit who attacked me last year in the system anywhere? B.S. It's been over a year, is it officially a cold case now? Maybe that blond girl can find him. Look how determined and serious she is, looking at that evidence in the dark. I'm calling her. Do you hear me, NYPD? I'm calling that blond girl.

Serena, Nate, and an annoying PA who told me to turn off my flash

I left work last night around 8 and as I stepped out onto 9th Avenue, my life took a precious and unforgettable turn that no one could have predicted. Ok, Arturo had just come over to my desk to tell me about it, but whatever. There on 9th and 15th, in what used to be Chelsea Flowers in my building, was my beloved Gossip Girl, cast and crew. This picture (of Blake Lively--just trust me on this one) blows, I know, you don't have to tell me, but they yell at you if you use a flash, and I wasn’t going to stand around for a half hour trying to get a good shot, because I’m not 16 and that’s embarrassing and I have better things to do with my time than watch some TV show about teenagers shoot a scene. Yeah, right--I had to leave to go to a birthday party, or I would have stood there all night. I don’t care.

Here’s what I found out: in some episode this season, Serena and Nate will walk down 9th Avenue. You heard it here first. Oh, and Nate’s long lost cousin, Tripp Vanderbilt is apparently running for Congress. I used my critical thinking skills to figure that out, based on the signs in the door that read, “VAN DER BILT FOR CONGRESS Campaign.” I know, my mind is my weapon. I was going to go to MIT, but then I was like, "Boston accents are kind of annoying."

What Eric and Jonathan have been dreaming of (other than waffle irons)

I think I’ve made my feelings about Perez Hilton pretty clear, so it goes without saying that I don’t read his depressingly unfunny and horribly written site, but dammit, he’s got Gossip Girl news and I love those little monsters enough to subject my brain to his 10,000 exclamation marks and the words “perezcious” and “seksi.” Looking back, it might not have been worth it.

I don’t know anything about anything, but people have been saying that Chuck’s going to kiss a guy. Or a guy’s going to kiss Chuck. Or something. Anyway, according to the Queen of all People-I’d-like-to-see-eaten-by-a-bear, this confirms it once and for all.

EXCLUSIVE: Gossip Girl Gay Kissed Confirmed!!!
Thanks to one excellent Perezcious reader, we now have solid confirmation that Ed Westwick's character, Chuck Bass, will most definitely have a gay kiss this season!!!
And it's being filmed as we type!
Our wonderful informant happened upon the Gossip Girl set on Wednesday, where some careless fool left a call sheet out for everyone to see…and our reader to take a picture of!
As you can clearly see, on the second line of the call sheet, it reads:
INT. BAR- MAIN ROOM (scripted Back Room)
Blair bursts in just as Ellis kisses Chuck
Hell yes!
Mark your calenders for episode six of this season. Things are getting super seksi on the Upper West Side!


And if you clicked on that link, check out comment #10 and give a special thanks to commenter LaurenGuy101, who I'd like to hug:

LaurenGuy101 says
it's East Side you douche and you spelt calendars wrong

Did he say no headbands?

I usually hate teenagers because they're loud and obnoxious and annoy me in movie theaters, but TV is magic and makes them loveable by making them absurdly more dramatic and prettier. The kids (and the commentary) won't be back until September 14th, but here are the season 3 teasers. Try not to think about Tyra Banks.

WTF is not WTF, it’s “Watch This Fall.” Obvi. (I can't even say it jokingly without wanting to stab myself.)



Blair’s facial expression at the end of that reminds me how much I miss her.


DAN


SERENA


BLAIR


NATE


The girl from Privileged? Did that show get cancelled? Do I watch too much CW?

NO HEADBANDS

GG 5.18.09: "I thought we were matching our headbands under our caps."

Sorry this is so late. 7am flight back to the city yesterday morning, blah blah, excuse excuse, I was tired. This week’s season finale disappointed in drama until the last 3 minutes, but it made up for it in sentimentality, so I’m ok with it. I’m a sucker for the “this chapter in our lives is ending” episode every time.


Wow, the origins of Gossip Girl. It’s just like the Da Vinci Code. Serena was GG’s first blast in the 9th grade involving a white dress, some rain and an aircraft carrier. I wonder how they cleaned up the mess in the 9th grade boys room after that went out.


Eric saw her mugshot in Pravda? The paper or the bar?

“I love Blair” moment #1 of the week: Posing for the paparazzi that are outside for Serena.

Nate hadn’t already invited Dan to his party? But they’re boyfriends…

I should have gone to Constance just for the graduation attire. Belted graduation robes…why has no one done this before?

“Ladies, I thought we were matching our headbands under our caps. And take off that hideous scarf, Penelope, you can see it from space.”

I know there has to be a new queen, but I have some problems with this decision-making process.
1. Are we to believe that Penelope and Isabel would even give Jenny the chance to be queen?
2. Who is this new girl? I feel like I’m watching Caitlin the first time she was on the OC. That’s not a good thing, new girl.
3. They want the new queen to be a transfer? That shouldn’t be allowed, why’d she transfer anyway?
4. The competition is the juiciest Constance gossip—this girl doesn’t know anyone, how do they expect her to win? And if they don’t listen to Blair anymore (cut to Penelope’s terrified expression as she lowers her voice so Blair can’t hear her say that) then why don’t they just crown the new girl and get it over with?
5. This is all BS. Eric should be queen.

Aw, they left Dan out of the program. Congratulations, Don.


They don’t have to sit alphabetically? And uuuuuh…why is Serena not wearing her cap? That’s not fair. Listen, a lot of us didn’t look cute in that stupid cap, but you have to wear it. If there was a way to get out of it, I would have figured it out in 1998. I wonder if “tassel in the hair instead of cap” was written in, or if Blake Lively threw a fit 5 minutes before this was shot. I think we know the answer to that.


Ok, good. Gossip Girl graduation blast:
Nate—class whore
Dan—the ultimate insider
Chuck—coward
Blair—weakling
Serena—irrelevant

“Gossip Girl is going down.” No one calls Serena irrelevant and gets away with it.

“Besides, she didn’t say anything about us. Not even Penelope.”
“Oh, soup dumplings!”

“you tried to give me money behind my back when I said no.” (he’s leaving out that 40 page list of dudes she banged, but good for him for taking the high road.)
“we both made mistakes…” hahaha, Lily.

Grandfather takes the statutory rape/prostitution thing pretty well. He’s so understanding.
“last summer, I had an affair with an older woman.”
“welcome to Washington.”
“she was married.”
“mmm…go on.”
“and she paid me.”
“well I’ll protect you, let’s hope it doesn’t come up.”


Serena’s really not giving up on this. Dan’s not your best bet to take Gossip Girl down, S.
“The insider, what is that?”
Pretty good, but not the best Dan delivery of the night: “uuhh…it’s a tabloid tv show!”
“we have to band together and take her down!”
Hahaha, Vanessa just rolls her eyes and walks away.

Dan, don’t think we don’t know that you’re pulling away b/c it’s too hard to say goodbye. Serena might not get it, but we do.
And “what’s keeping us together?”??? LOVE, that’s what.

How are they just now figuring out that Gossip Girl is probably in their class? GG blasts started when they were in 9th grade, they’re all about Constance and St. Jude…
“I refuse to believe that the students at our school are any worse than those at Horace Mann or Spence.”
“So if she’s a senior then she’s in the room right now…”
You got into Brown?

Jonathan?! No way.
Ah, yes, no way.
“I hacked into her server over spring break.”
And he and Eric kept this a secret from everyone since then? Even from Jenny?

Well look at that timing. Rufus was calling Lily and she was already there. It’s like they’re supposed to be together. He should just propose. After they get drunk and high.

Oh, Waldorf mother-daughter moment. Heartwarming.

Hahaha, drunk Nelly Yuki dancing. She loves Dan! That’s adorable.

Gossip Girl knows about New Years. It’s all out. Blair slept with Jack. Which we pretty much already knew. And we already knew everything else. BO-ring.

“Like you didn’t do that with the dregs of DUMBO.”
“I’m standing right here.”

Dan IS the ultimate insider. Point Gossip Girl.

“Maybe it was, but it’s not anymore.” Wow, I almost believe him.

Lily Rhodes Van der Woodsen Bass Humphrey. It’s got a nice ring to it.

Everyone’s coming down on Serena and Nate’s the voice of reason? Because he was poor for 3 weeks last year. Perspective.

“I love Blair” moment #2: this explanation of the why you have to be cold to be queen. Queen of Constance=Queen of England. Jenny, it’s your time.


He loopt her? I don’t mean to be a stickler for details, and I don’t have Loopt on my phone, but I learned last week that you have to ping back for people to know where you are. Right?

This is the best cleavage we’ve gotten in a while.

Dan’s right, he’d be nothing without her. Can’t Buy Me Love, with better clothes.

BEST Dan Delivery of the night, when Blair walks in…
“Oh that makes sense.”

“they’re a team?”
Nate. Catch. On. Faster.

Oh GOOD, Rufus got a different ring. That other ring will make some tarot card reading gypsy woman very happy.

Eric’s dreamed about a waffle iron.

“I chased a guy for years who wasn’t that into me, I’m going to a glorified state school, my mother married an entertainment lawyer, so I need to stop moving and contemplate the failure of my life.”

The deputy mayor made a pass at Nate, so now he’s going to go to Europe with Vanessa. That was wrapped up quickly.

Scott!
Did that work? I tried to sound interested. I faked it. This story line annoys me.
“Maybe I’ll see you around.” Oh, the foreshadowing. Yes, we get it.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. I was all for Jenny being queen, but I think she should have let us know what she was going to do with her power before we made up our minds…
Her first order of business is no more headbands?!?!
I’d like to change my vote.


There’s Georgina, finally. So everyone will be at NYU now except for Serena? Are they really going to film in NYU dorms and everything? I kind of hope so, because cry baby hipster NYU kids will haaaaaate that.

Carter’s back from Dubai? He found her dad?!

Chuck and Blair, together finally. It’s everything I thought it could be.

GG 5.11.09: "That's for suburban schools, and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."

So this week we get some insight into Lily's past, and sadly not the 80s Lily Rhodes Van der Woodsen Bass background spinoff. It's a shame, the cheesy 80s references would have totally been worth it. Not to mention, Lily was kind of a badass.

Whoa, Serena. 4 hours in jail has hardened her.
"I'd rather give my kids up for adoption than be like you..."
Happy Mother's Day, Lil.
oh YES, she called Cece to bail her out.

Andrew McCarthy AND Huey Lewis "I Want a New Drug" playing in the background. Ah, i miss the 80s. I had that tape. Huey Lewis and the News, Sports. Me and Patrick Bateman.


The young Cece sounds EXACTLY like Lily. it's blowing my mind.

So, her dad doesn't want her and then she ends up married 4 times to guys just like him? Interesting.
I should be a shrink. I did really well in psychology in college. I got a 100 on a test once, with no extra credit or anything.

Serena decided to stay in jail on prom night? RIGHT.
"You're not going to come out of there with a mullet and a girlfriend, are you?"

"in that scrapbook you kept under your bed..."
"Please, I don't remember that, I was a child then."
"the fact that you're on an actual pay phone has me beyond nauseous." JAIL pay phone…she's right, that's gross.

Dorota, we've missed you!
"This body bag, corpse not pretty..."
"just like my scrapbook I don't remember keeping and haven't looked at since i was an early adolescent!"

Chuuuuuck, are you sabotaging Blair's dream prom?

"you are toxic...so much so it seems that try as i might, i can't help but turning into you."
She knows she's turning into Cece, but she can't stop? just...don't be a bitch. seems easy enough.

ha, SPAZ. when was the last time i said spaz?
"are BJs a must? b/c if they are, i'm so not doing that."

OH 80s fashion montage. OOOOOOOOOF course. Could they have given her a Redbull before this? Would it kill her to do something more than tilt her head?

"sure, yeah, cool place to catch hepatitis."
I’m sort of disappointed in Brittany Snow trying to be snobby. All I see is the girl from American Dreams.


"we don't do prom queen, that's for suburban schools and the lame teen comedies that are set at them."
"a tiara?"
changes everything.

Like anyone would believe Nelly would win prom queen.

aw, Dan bailed her out to go to prom. I haven't given up on those two yet. Even if they do share a half-sibling.

HA, she invested in the fanny pack?

"being us is awesome."
"people treat us differently."
"yeah, BETTER."
THERE's Lily.

Rufus is so wise. and strong! wow, rufus, way to stand your ground.

hahahha...all the coke and pastel shirts at this party. this IS the 80s! or Chelsea on a Saturday night.

Lily ends up marrying the jerk who screwed over her sister??

This fight at the party is so The OC season 1. Ryan! I mean, Owen!


"This is my moment. I own prom."

Chuck! "you didnt think you were the only one who knew about the scrapbook, did you?"


I CAN'T get over how much this chick sounds like Lily. It's freaking me out.

"...or god forbid, actually sets foot in a public school." Most public schools don't even have heroin. It's really sad.

"I'd rather have 20 Dan Humphreys from Brooklyn than that boy you loved from the Valley..."
"you took care of that, didn't you."
What'd she do??


Oooooooh, they're gonna break up. Finally, it's been like 3 episodes. And I could do without "just hold me until this song's over. let's not waste these last moments talking about it." That's too cheesy, even for me. I have a heart of stone.

GG 5.4.09: "Pregnancy ruse...cliche but effective."

HUGE lack of Eric for the 1000th time, but Georgina's Bible quotes and the Chuck and Blair drama didn't disappoint.

Chuck and Blair were suspicious of Gabriel from the beginning, because they're the only ones who aren't idiots. Also, because:
"Well his suits never did fit right"
That's what I think every time I see a real estate broker in New York.

"I didn't even know you were out"
I think Lily's up for Mother of the Year. No?

Aw, Rufus is nauseatingly happy. Gross.
"Zippedy-do-da on the F? I'm pretty sure whatever that lady said meant 'stoooooop!' in her own language."
See, if everyone just spoke English, Rufus could have stopped annoying people way earlier.

"Don't tell me that hick gave you scabies."
Sick. Just the word "scabies" is sick. ew, i have the heebie jeebies.





"I keep trying to figure out what was real and what wasn't."
I wish I could say that girls aren't this stupid. I wish I could.


"Feelings never do...they get you all confused and then drive you around for hours until they drop you right back to where you started."
I wonder what she means by that...that's tricky. Nate might never figure it out.




"Where's Blair?"
"I agreed to give you a ride, that's it. Meals are not included."
Eh, they tried.

"I just want to apologize. One of the most sacred acts is the ritual of forgiveness."
Georgina's Jesus act is getting better, it's almost remotely believable. "Believable" meaning "not believable."
"why is it when you say 'ritual' i think human sacrifice?"

"Pregnancy ruse...cliche but effective."
I could tell a story about this, but I'm afraid the girl it's about could possibly read this. and i'm not in the business in hurting people's feelings. If I knew for sure that she wouldn't know about it, then I'd totally tell everyone. and use her name. but she wouldn't know, so no hurt feelings. See? I'm really sensitive.

Dan's Tiny Tim coat looks even more sad next to everyone else. Poor Dan. Poor, poor Dan. As in, he's poor.

HAHAHA...Georgina's entrance to Blair's "we need an act of God" and this music. I just got so excited.

"Ok, we need to get this crazy girl out of here..."
Some writer is on my good side now.

Gabriel's actually meeting her? Why is he still in town? And why do they keep using Poppy's last name? We know which Poppy.



Lily needs her roots done. WHAT IS UP WITH THE HAIR GUY??? or girl. sorry, WOMAN. it could be a woman. I just doubt it.

Serena's ringtone is the same tone as the alarm on my phone. I hear it 6am every damn morning. i hate you, ringtone.

"We know the rest, it's called a Ponzi scheme."
Do you think Chuck doesn't know what a Ponzi scheme is, Gabriel?

Oh, he really loves her, that's why he's still in town. I know, Gabriel, I love her, too.

"God will help me find a way to earn your forgiveness."
"Oh looks like He answers my prayers faster than yours!"

I like how Serena's not afraid of getting in trouble with Lily, she's annoyed at Dan for ratting her out.
"I'm sorry mom, i was gonna tell you and then..." you have me 20 carats to wear on my wrist.

ERIC!
"Your mother is nothing like her mother." Umm...
"Klaus with a K did it with blimp, C Claus did on top of pyramid, although she didn't say yes to that, but uh, you have the bar set pretty high."
Eric's usually so in tune with the common people...not at the moment.

Ok, i really hate to just list quotes from the show with no reason for commentary, so I'm trying to cut down the Jesus quotes, but it's really hard.

"I gave up my old ways when I let Jesus take the wheel."
"THAT is a Carrie Underwood song, not a life choice."
I know I said this in a blog post a few days ago, but I think it's funny that Carrie Underwood sings about Jesus and small town values, and then also about getting blackout drunk and marrying a stranger, and also misdemeanor vandalism on her cheating boyfriend's truck. It's all very inspiring.

"But...Jesus drove you here."
"Actually i believe his name was Jesus."
"Not in the cab, in your country western way of life."

"If you cut revenge out of the Bible, there's not enough pages to even make a pamphlet."
"And they shall know i am the Lord when I lay my vengeance on them."
"How'd you know my favorite passage?"

Lily Bass would NEVER let Poppy in her house. I don't buy it.

AH, Georgina. she's too good at being bad to be good. did that make sense?

Hahahah...Chuck's a nose for the scent of a woman. HU-A. "I sense aspiration, yearning, striving to be accepted. but then there's this appealing counter note of sincerity and optimism...it's perfection."



That ringtone again! AH! what time is it?? I don't wanna go to the gym!

Lily's favorite flower? The lily. obviously.
"this shows that you really know her...and love her." cause he knows what food and wine she likes? the guy at the bodega knows what food and wine i like, but I'm almost positive he's not in love with me. and he'd better not propose.

GAH DAN, you're such a tattle tale.

"Are you a Carrie? I'm a Charlotte." Perfect annoying-girl-who-just-moved-to-New-York.

WOW, this Chuck and Blair exchange is seriously emotional. you can tell by the soap opera-style extreme closeups.

"They can download Kirk Cameron movies!" hahaha, Kirk Cameron burn. He's crazy.

The police are there? I thought the whole thing was to not call the police.

Serena's getting arrested? You mean the well thought out plan didn't work?


"Pretending to find Jesus to take us all down, it borders on brilliant."
"Your stupid clothes and your bible quotes don't fool anyone. I will never forgive you...and neither will Jesus."

Haaaa, Lily threw her in jail. So, they couldn't turn Poppy in so that Serena's name would be kept out of scandal, but it makes more sense to have her arrested outside the Russian Tea Room in the middle of the day?

"...and embarrassing me!"
"you just sounded exactly like your mother." Rufus, I'd be careful. Right now you have no money. Wow, he did it. Humphrey OUT!

"Tell Jesus that the bitch is back."



Other things happened back at the police station, but I really want to end on that.

I don't get it

If you don't watch Gossip Girl, there's really no point in reading anything that begins with "GG" at all. It will make little to no sense. In that case, scroll. If you do watch it, comment away.

GG 4.27.09: It's full of mole men and middle class professionals

No Cyrus and a serious lack of great Dan deliveries, but Rufus's heartbreaking performance and the lines in the first scene could possibly have made up for it.


"NYU? What was i thinking, you know how I feel about ironic facial hair."
You know who had ironic facial hair? Hipster art douche. It's ok, he's gone. I know, I'm sorry I brought him up.

"I'll teach you everything you need to know...the best pot dealer, but first the most important of all, how to ride the subway."

"Nate, you're sweet, but obviously you've inhaled too much patchouli. There's no way i'm going down there! It's full of mole men and middle class professionals."
First of all, I grew up in Austin, which would be the hippie capital of the world if Berkeley fell into the ocean, so you'd think I'd have developed an immunity to the smell of patchouli, but I haven't. It's still foul. Secondly, I've never seen a mole man in the subway, but I did try to rent the documentary once at Kim's but I couldn't because they want your first born and half your 401k to rent movies there. Hipster snobs. I have, however, seen middle class professionals plenty of times. Wait, is that me? Shit. Oh, nevermind, I'm far from professional. Phew.

"Check out what dad was looking at..."
what? that gypsy ring?

"Rats go underground, not Waldofs."
"No man is worth suffering the indignity of mass transit."

"Gabriel is disappearing for a reason, we need to get to the bottom of it."
At least Blair's not a total moron. Is Serena too young to have been burned badly enough to not trust her non-boyfriend? Oh, she's 18. I keep forgetting.

Chuck's playing basketball with Nate on Forsyth and Chrystie? I doubt it. His basketball outfit is worth it, though.



Uuuuuuuuugh, Gabriel's pretentious-voice almost makes me miss hipster art douche Aaron Rose. Lily's gonna go into labor from excitment if he doesn't cut it out.
"I'm sorry to hear that, family's so important." HA, Lily, you make me laugh.
"UH, I asked the caterer for a '99 Brunello, this isn't a PTA meeting." aaaaaand, she's back.

"I see you're wearing your beret...who are we spying on tonight?"
I, too, love the beret.

Poppy's not stupid enough to jump out of the car RIGHT in front of the building. please.

"WHY can't anyone see a movie around here??"

HOW does no one think it's gross that she's barely 18. How old is this guy? I ask that every week, we'll never know the answer.
"I only have eyes for one girl, and she is..." a teenager.

Hey, there's V...where's she been?
"where you been?" ah, thanks, dan.

Did Dan just say "the V.D. Dubs"?

Is the hair stylist going through some personal problems? Jenny's hair finally looks decent, yet Serena hasn't owned a brush for like a month. It's weird.

"Gabriel's still popping Poppy"
"no no this is too MOB"
AH YES, the second one. boobs.

"We have this amazing connection...he said he fell in love with me the first time he ever saw me..."
"he fell in love with you while you were roofied, how romantic!"
Aw, teenagers are stupid. My senior year high school boyfriend, Nate and I said 'I love you' after like 2 weeks of "dating." I think it was in his car in the Taco Bell parking lot. Everything's romantic when you're 17. If we had been alone in Spain, my head would have exploded.

"he's having her cake and eating yours, too." ew.

WAIT, a music publishing company offered to buy the Lincoln Hawk catalog? Ummm...

"This place is great, but Murray Hill? Even your mother's too hip for this zip code."
hahahaha. AJ used to call it Murray Killmyself. It's true.
In case you don't know...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eylKBJiDNeM

Good Lord, Nate, they ran into each other on the street, chill OUT.

"she didn't steal me...she swept me away."
oh gaaaaaaaaaaaaah, i just threw up. Aaron, I'm sorry, come back

"the whole looking up and looking down thing...has a certain appeal to it"
"even though your life sucks right now, you didn't need an STD panel this week."

does jenny have friends who aren't her dad and her brother?

"how will the African teenagers send in posts to Gossip Girl?"

"i thought there was Mets game...i saw Dorota wearing her hat"

"he told Chuck that he met you that night at Butter, but htat's impossible b/c i know that Butter was closed that night because I used their bartender for the Nelly Yuki SAT Sabatoge Party"

"Butter? really?"
"it does sound kind of stupid when you say it out loud..."

wow, this is really serious music for this 'i can't afford to go to Yale' conversation.

OH NO, RUFUS NOOOOOOOO, don't give him all your money
I think I just felt an actual emotion.

i knew that hand-holding comment earlier would come up again.
"i can't believe i have to see my sworn enemy with Nancy Pelosi hair"
Did the Huffington Post get an inside tip on that line?
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/27/nancy-pelosis-hair-throug_n_170480.html

Georgina's at...JESUS CAMP. YES. oh, Jesus, I love this. And also, I don't buy this for one second.




"even her flaming red hair?"
Serena's smart now?

PASSION PLAY and paper mache apostles. it just got even better than i thought.

"She told me that Butter was closed the night that I allegedly met her there. and what the hell is Butter?"
He's from North Carolina, we can't expect him to know. Plus, it's not 2005.

OH GOD, this might be the most emotional i've ever been watching this show. Rufus's face giving Gabriel that check...

Whoa, did Nate just wake up? WHERE is the HAIR GUY??\
"you know, I loathe Murray Hill..."

"we pooled our savings."
"fortunately your tastes are very modest."
Yeah, you're not kiddin, Dan. Is there even a diamond? Have they MET Lily?

HAAAAAA Georgina's back. duh.

SCENES from next week..."I gave up my old ways and let Jesus take the wheel."
"THAT is a Carrie Underwood song."

THAT is something I wrote about just the other day. weird.

GG 4.20.09: "Barukh atah, aye dios mio"

This week was all over the place, but at least Cyrus is back to add a little Jew to the WASP scene. And good thing. New York with no Jews is like Hollywood with no...Jews.
And again, Dan got all the best lines.


HA, this My Fair Lady dream again. It's so cheesey, but Blair's Eliza Doolittle accent is totally worth it. I'll get the crackers.

"just because i lost Yale does not mean that I'm wasting my time at a non-Ivy reading Beloved 6 times and experimenting with lesbianism."
Blair at NYU? Is she going to get a parttime job at Urban Outfitters, too?

"last night's entertainment..."
Synchronized swimmers are notoriously slutty.

Nate got into Columbia on his own? Yeah, I’ve heard that acceptance to Columbia is almost totally contingent on lacrosse wins.

Grandfather Vanderbilt's going to get her into Yale? Was that too easy? I think that was too easy.

AAAH, Passover episode is brimming with Jewish jokes.
"I'm one of the chosen ones! I was wandering the desert and now I've reached the Vanderbilt promised land!"

OH NO, Dan cater-waitering at the Waldorf's. That's more embarrassing than the tuna sandwich.

Ha, Eleanor. At least she's trying. Oy.
"I can't even say half the words in this prayer book that's named for Lieberman's wife!"
"Hadassah...I think the prayer book is called Haggadah"
It’s a good thing Dan grew up in Williamsburg.

"I don't feel comfortable serving knishes to Blair"
"you don't serve knishes at Passover."
Now she's an expert.

WAIT, Dan overheard Serena talking to Cyrus? FINALLY someone can hear something that isn't said directly to them. (last week everyone went spontaneously deaf. It annoyed me.)

"how does one not know if one is married? you're smiling!"
"we were together for a year and barely made it to junior prom...so yeah, it's a little insulting."
Way to play it cool, Dan.

BEST Dan delivery today:
"Yes, you're the wife of the landed gentry and I'm a cater waiter at a Seder."



"You go for a classic look with a black tie and white shirt and that's what you get."
And Lily's buying this? Please. She can spot the help a mile away. She would already have told him to get her a glass of wine.

Oooh, Jenny got Pop Burger for her Monopoly date. now I totally want Pop Burger. Those onion rings are like crack.

“You should move your gallery to the city, Williamsburg is already over."
haha, eat it, hipsters.

UH OH...Nate's making a toast. These kids never make toasts unless they're dropping a bomb.
"He was the one who had my father investigated by the authorities..."
BOMB.

oh crap, now Gabriel's here? How old is he supposed to be? She’s 18. Gross.
"Barukh atah, aye dios mio!" Amanda Lasher, thank you.

"The guy who answered said you'd probably be here...he also asked if I had any hash."

"you never mentioned him..."
"I'm sure my name's come up at least once"
Dan, Dan, Dan, I still love you. That was almost as great as, “she called me first!” to Aaron at Bart’s funeral.

HA Eleanor totally disregarding the seder rules: "there's even an empty seat. It's for Elijah but you can take it."

Are we to believe that Chuck gives a sh-- about what Jenny thinks?

Blair HAS changed! And I hate it.

"First of all, he's dressed like a waiter."
"I think it's a classic look."
I can't decide if Rufus is sticking up for Dan or if he's trying to sound hip.

GAH, Nate's so whiney. Quit crying, you wuss, she left with you, didn't she?

Wait, Lily, everything’s cool? all's forgiven now? She went to SPAIN. I got in trouble when I went downtown.

Oh they're not married. “we were just being crazy!” of course. or are they?

Chuck's just going to let Nate have her? And help him get her? The new Chuck is really boring.

Rufus is going to sell the gallery? And Dan’s the voice of reason, “so what are you going to do?” yeah, what ARE you going to do, Rufus? Following your dreams is SO much easier when your girlfriend has a billion dollars.

UGH, now Chuck's apologizing to Jenny?? AND PUTTING HIS DRINK DOWN? well I don’t like this one bit.

And obviously Poppy's using Gabriel against Serena. Like we didn’t see that coming. At least someone's still missing a conscience. Thank God.

GG 3.30.09: It would almost be scary if it wasn't wearing plaid

Well this just makes the most sense. And I like things to be organized. All the Gossip Girl posts together in one place. For eternity. Lucky you.


It would almost be scary if it wasn't wearing plaid

Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at 2:56am

They're really whoring themselves out with product placement, but Dan keeps up the amazing work and Eric's back and even more sarcastically fantastic than when he left for wherever the hell he went that was never addressed. My life makes sense again.


Nate wants Vanessa to meet him at his place in a half hour? before school? what the hell time do these kids get up? and why is Vanessa awake at all? isn't sleeping in a perk of home-schooling yourself (HA, I'm glad that sounds as ridiculous as it is)

Is Lily off to an early morning cocktail party after breakfast? It's 8am, Lil, dial it down. you're rich, we get it.

Eric! He's back from...we have no idea...who cares, he's back!

"I do my cardio in the evenings..." the 2 adults bat an eye at that comment? nope.

"Does this feel like a sitcom to anyone else?" oh, Eric, you've been missed.
"Feels more like a reality show."
"Good, so i can vote you off."
"It would almost be scary if it wasn't wearing plaid."

"oooooh, Jenny cake..." ERIC what the hell did we do without you?

Ugh, Vanessa. stone washed jeans and those stupid suede fringe boots. did she leave the mansion and hit the vintage store and American Apparel before she even got back to Brooklyn? she was doing so well.

Chuck's been watching Blair every morning? And she's been bringing Nate breakfast? That's desperate, especially for Blair.

what was with that fake snow shot of the Brooklyn bridge? we know where they live.

"why did you just lie to him? the packet's right there."
does leaving the room affect Dan's hearing? i think he can hear you, there are no walls.

wait...he'll move in with her and live off her millions, but he won't let her fork out a lousy 50 grand a year? way to be independent, Rufus.

Am I watching The Hills? these Missoni money shots are killing me.

"making up and breaking up with the same high school boy..." she's IN HIGH SCHOOL

"the kind of party that you should be throwing...adults, elegant" well that makes sense. for the sweet sixteen.

"see, she loves it!" do the humphrey kids have a hearing problem that I'm not aware of? she's right there, she can't hear that?

oh GOD, we have to look at this outfit again.

did Nate just call Vanessa "V"? hold on, i just threw up. yeah, he did, he said it.

and give me a break, she would call him out on the Blair thing right then.

HAHA...Dorota's romantic backstory. and she calls Vanessa "girl from Brooklyn"

"Pour that Dom down the drain, Dorota...wait, is that the '96?"

Chuck's robe and slippers while "they're making fools of us..." perfect.

the Humphreys have a landline? that has a cord? It's Brooklyn, not the past.

my GOD, did they get a new hair stylist? WTF is with Serena's hair? It's a hemp necklace and some patchouli away from dreads.

hahaha, the doorman is reading Ann Coulter's book.
Dan's perfect Brooklynite liberal response...laugh condescendingly. "HA Guilty: Liberal Victims and their Assault on America?"
"Dorota get me, she said it's important to know enemy."

Dan's spoken Jeffersons theme song should make me hate him, but I love him more.

I don't think Serena can tell Poppy to get her a drink.

OH LORD, Patrick McMullan appearance. so appropriate and so annoying.

Would Eric let Jenny post the party at his house on GG without even saying anything? no way. not even Jonathan would let that happen.

"What are they doing here? What do we do?" They're like 2 feet away, why can't they hear them??! WHY CAN NO ONE HEAR ANYTHING?

"there are strangers having sex in your bed"

hahahaha...Dan's pretentious lit talk to pick up girls. You're not at Yale yet, Humphrey. good practice, though.
"the word used was uh...haunting...i love that...ah..."

wow Vanessa's goin all out. jealousy makes teenagers so bitchy.

"only my boyfriend gets to touch my hair" that was too cheesy, even for me.

AAAH Serena's hair is even worse. was SHE the one having sex in her bed?

"well, we ARE in high school" THANK YOU, Dan.

ew, Dan WOULD say "making love." sick.

"because she wanted CLUE and a CROCKPOT"
"mom...you could at least make an attempt to mask your distaste." Eric should never go away again. ever.

"when it was just me and eric, it was a pretty safe bet it was my fault.."
"thaaat's true..."

"it sounds to me what Serena put together was...delightful..."
hahaha, she's so amazingly pretentious. and yet, she's in love with Rufus. It's heartwarming.

HA, Dan's Strand t-shirt. so true.

"we're not needy enough??"
I live in a giant loft in Brooklyn and go to a private school on the Upper East side...and THAT's not needy enough?? He's so down to earth.

"the ducks do soothe me..."

aw, dorota's so happy for her

whoa, Nate's hair, too. how long has he been standing out in the snow? and WHERE is the hair stylist??

AAAAAAH...Savannah. And AGAIN, how did Poppy not hear that, she was right there

hahaha...nice job with Scott's parents' house in the suburbs, i thought i had accidentally changed channels to According to Jim.

Verizon Hub product placement. sneaky.
also, I'm pretty sure that the picture that comes up with Serena's text is my buddy icon.

If Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr awkwardly make out like this in real life, maybe he IS gay.

GG 3.23.09: "Slash? Seriously?"

Slash? Seriously?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 1:43am

1. There were so many amazingly cheesy lines in this episode, choosing one for the title was the most difficult decision I've made all day. And that includes lunch. Soup or salad? It's cold out, but there's gorgonzola in the salad...It wasn't easy.
2. This was Dan's best performance to date.



I'm glad they're keeping it current...it IS so cold still. I had to wear a hat and gloves earlier. BS.

Of course his cousin's name is Tripp.
The first of Dan's awesomeness (I know I said "awesomeness"...How I Met Your Mother was on earlier. I apologize.) tonight...he can barely keep a straight face when he says "Tripp"

"she needs to lick her wounds..."
"maybe I can lick them for her." EW.

BEST DELIVERY from Dan ever. to anything. ever.
getting out of the limo: "HA...WHAT! You said it was a manion, not a country club."

"let's show your friends the presidential medals of freedom."
"finally!"
Again, Dan. keep it up.

ha, shoplifting. that IS the first rebellious thing kids do. (not me, of course. I was a wuss. and I didn't stop at Bendel's--which, btw...is it that easy to steal something from Bendel's? I need new sunglasses...)

Lily's going through her 90's cds to remember who she's slept with. wonderful.
"next thing I knew, i was saying yes to lists."
Wasn't the list thing your idea, Lily? perfect writing...she would totally get herself into this and then convince herself that it was his idea.

"Slash? Seriously?"

MGMT's Kids is the soundtrack to Nate playing touch football with his cousins. Look at the lyrics, trust me. Oh, GG writers, you're so deep.

"I feel like a Republican at the Kennedy compound." how very ironic.

"welcome to the next 30 years." They're 18...so obviously they'll get married.
HAHAHA...Chace Crawford trying to play football. That's why theater kids are theater kids and not athletes.

"Good cop, Bass cop." oooooooh no. no.

hahaha...Chuck's giving Dan a run for his money with that look of intrigue about Santorini

Wait, did Serena just give Carter an actual paper plane ticket? I haven't seen one of those in at least 10 years. What'd she do, run to LaGuardia real quick? Even my mom books travel online, and I have to talk her through how to "click" on a "link."

They're doing a bang up job this episode of hiding Kelly Rutherford's unborn child. Kudos, wardrobe. (and director. and cameramen.)

Let's do a quick rundown of the highlights of the names they used for Lily's list:

Darius Menard: scenic artist on "The Oject of My Affection" and also for "My Super Ex-girlfriend"

Steve Krieger: special effects for several movies, but also set dressor for..."My Super Ex-girlfriend" So...who on the GG crew worked on My Super Ex-girlfriend?

Randy Manion: Gossip Girl location manager (and also PA for Center Stage, which I enjoy)

Ben Noble: Gossip Girl electrician

Chris Nelson: Gossip Girl leadman


"I'm relieved...please don't take that the wrong way..."
I was afraid you were a bigger whore than I thought. but you're juuuuust whorish enough.

"reception at the country house...it's very blazer and chinos."
Did anyone notice that Jenny's delivery of that line was very Serena-esque?
and I guess Bluefly's not feeling the effects of this harsh economy. sure, things were good when they were on Project Runway, but Gossip Girl name drops can't be cheap. can they? ok, maybe so.

"They're the Vanderbilts, not the Corleones"
ha, I watched The Godfather yesterday. that's nothing, just weird.

the family sausage grinder? is that a double entendre?

"I'm not gonna play Where's Waldorf all night"

aw, Vanessa's little shrug and huge smile when Nate told Tripp he was on a date. there's not a girl in the world who hasn't done that. except me, I'm way too cool for that.

Sarah Lawrence is her last resort. how sad.

WHOA...what is this?? Serena...straight hair. Were they rushed in hair and make up?

and Chuck and Serena getting along...i want to hate it, but it warms my cold heart.

"i can't even fit my lipstick in here, what could i possibly be trying to sneak in?"
"liberal agenda? universal healthcare? education reform? increasing state tax?"
I wonder how the writers voted in November...I guess we'll never know.

"you think the Humphrey's have a crest that Jenny could stitch on to one of my cardigans?"

HA, Trip's awkward hug to Vanessa. Be polite, but don't get any Brooklyn on you.

"as opposed to what you want me to do?...I didn't mean that."
NO guy has ever apologized that quickly.

"Hey! You! Garcon, with the bubble butt."

"though, i think she discontinued her '3rd trip down the aisle, only took the plunge for money' line."

HAAAAAA..."big fan of your sites..."

Is Chuck a guest at a Vanderbilt party, or is he working at a malt shop (I should say malt shoppe) in the 50's? More importantly, is he the only person in history to make a striped shirt and pink bowtie sexy? I think so, yes.

WOW they packed all the sex into this one scene.
"you see right through me...into my core" That was supposed to be dirty, right? sounded dirty.
"...you risk them walking away from the table for good...and who wants to play with themselves?"

HA, no one at the WASP party is remotely surprised at Serena walking up and slapping Dan across the face. not even a glance. oh wait, that one guy glanced. and thought, "been there, kid."

At least Serena has some sense about the student-teacher affair. oh wait, no, she's laughing, it's funny. nevermind.

"your list was a dozen people, how much more condensed could it have been?"
"13...and i'm not embarrassed about my past."
hahaha...I'm not embarrassed...and it's 13! I'm not embarrassed.
And way to turn it around, Lily. It's totally his fault.

He's finally going to tell her he loves her! no, he's not. please.

oh Lord. she was with Nate when everything made sense and it was a simpler time. we get it. textbook.

GG 3.16.09: I'm an actress...No, I'm a seagull...

I'm an actress...No, I'm a seagull...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 4:27pm

I tried to post this last night and it wouldn't work. Thanks, FB. Here it is.



AW Dorota playing with the hair piece. it's sweet.


AAAAAAAH...Nelly got into Yale. Does Yale send email acceptance letters? I doubt it.


hahaha...Dorota and Penelope. Maid off.


WHORE! What is she doing there? In the midst of a student-teacher sex scandal, you lay low.


Ugh, Vanessa and that damn video camera. It's so Ray in Drive Me Crazy. You know, Drive Me Crazy--1999--Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier cross-rip-off of Can’t Buy Me Love and 10 Things I Hate About You? Melissa Joan Hart’s freaky lazy eye is even lazier than it was in Clarissa Explains It All.


Carter's back? And he's with Elle? and Elle, you couldn't come up with a better fake name than Hailey?
I hate this whole storyline.


HA..."did you see how they were treating her?"
You mean to tell me that a teacher slept with her high school student, and the other teachers weren't supportive? Bitches.


Uh, why do neither of them know how to pass a note?
And does she just carry around an extra key to her apartment? Probably. Whore.


Who the hell is this blonde girl sitting with Isabel? I don't know her. Do I?


Gah, Jenny was not the person for this job, why can't she hide a note properly?


"People aren't jealous of you, Blair, they HATE YOU." Not me, i love her. And I'm jealous of her.


Serena's ego is WAY too big to admit this crush (and the fact that he's ignoring her) on camera.


Ugh, of course she likes him, he's a douche in a scarf. I can't take it.


I usually suspend all reality Monday from 8pm to 9pm, but I have a really hard time keeping a straight face when anyone says "Lord Marcus."


Serena, pull your cardigan up over your shoulder, it's driving me nuts. we see the boobs. it's ok. we see them.


"I just met him..he told me he was rich, so i thought he could help."
well...yeah. makes sense to me.


These two film society nerds talking about William Wyler...ugh.

"yeah, Bette Davis...I love her eyes, her hair is harlow gold." do 17-year-olds know that song?

"yeah, and i'm totally annoying." You said it, Vanessa, not me.


"Dad has it." YES.
RUFUS! Man, I love Rufus now. I'm sorry i ever doubted him. (wait, I got all excited...how did he know where she lives?)


"my thoughts come so fast, i get confused."
aw, yeah they do.


Carter's one of them? Wait, why did they trust him in the first place? Because he can get fake passports made? That makes sense.


"...all to get back at me for Teacher Gate."


GAAAAAAAH, could they at least have cast someone who we'd WANT to see do it in the costume closet? Poor Penn Badgley's looking at his hot real-life girlfriend all day long and then has to make out with this idiot? I bet he puts Visine in the casting director's coffee.


Mr. Campbell's really stickin to his guns. Ugh, I'm trying, but I'm so bored with this whole thing, I can't even pretend to care.


HAHAHA Blair waves as the curtain goes down.


Charles Isherwood...excited or ashamed about his cameo? I wonder.


"Serena, I'm gay."
Is Eric still with Jonathan?


Did Vanessa just say 'unsecure'?


HA..."turns out they didn't want to hurt me, they just wanted me to sign an agreement..."
I'm no legal expert, but I'm gonna go nuts and say that the most powerful business men in the country (world?) know a thing or two about covering their asses and might have the girls sign the agreement before they let them in on all these life-shattering secrets.


"you've got a good heart. you should give it to somebody who cares."


"she was spreading false rumors..."
Why does child teacher talk like...oh, a lit teacher. right.
And they're not really false now, are they, Rachel? whore.


HA, Dan, right when I'm done with you, you win my heart again: "we had sex in the costume closet, so you can do whatever you want with that..."


"Student sex in the costume closet...is that what they mean by heartland values?"
Blair's not really one to settle on the "you have to live with yourself" punishment, but if it'll get her back to Iowa and out of my life, then fine.


Aw, Rufus, you were doing so well...
"i'm sorry, too, son." WHAT?? For what??


YES...why isn't Dorota more excited?


Carter? Please. He's tied up with Kings, does he even have time for this?

GG 1.19.09: witch hunts are my valium

witch hunts are my valium

Monday, January 19, 2009 at 11:23pm

Death by Dorota...even Dan knows

whoa...not so down low. I know Lily's supposed to have gotten 4 hours of sleep, but did they really have to make her look like it?

gross, stop laughing, Lily. my teenage son heard me having sex all night with his best friend's dad, that's hysterical. Mom of the Year.

"I want them young and unstable."
"You can cancel that order, I already ate." ew. even for Jack. ew.

hey, child teacher is the girl from Related. I liked that show. Jennifer Esposito was in it...anyone? just me?

I'm so glad Dan and Nate are back together. they have so much to learn from each other.

WAITLISTED. well, obviously.

"financial aidiots" haha, poor people are funny.

"he's like a cafeteria lady who won the lottery."

"we get a free pass..like pregnant ladies or 14 year old chinese gymnasts" Eat it, Olympics Committee.

new child teacher has no idea what she's doing. This isn't Related, Rose.

"time to shuck the corn" wait, what?

Rufus doesn't even need Opera for Dummies, he's got a rich gay 15 year old. Eric IS Opera for Dummies.

wow, the girly laughing on the bed is so high school. it's like they're...in high school.

opera boobs. they've been suffocating in sweaters all winter! i missed you, boobs.
but AH--Nate's opera hair is making me nauseous.
and what the hell is Vanessa wearing? is that velvet?

they're really doing a bang up job hiding Kelly Rutherford's pregnancy. She held that tiny clutch so perfectly that I almost didn't notice the 6-month-old unborn child under that dress.

ADOPTION! of course! (i actually already knew that, but i can't reveal my sources. didn't i do a good job of sounding surprised, though? caps and exclamation points say SURPRISED!)

Jack in the bathroom and scary music! Lily, you may not be scared, but i am. i'm scared. OMG...near rape scene! be careful Jack, she's pregnant.

"my hair looks terrible...not since 91..." Thank God someone said it.

HA..."get a jumpstart on your veganism, have some celebratory seitan at Angelica Kitchen?" Would Blair know about a restaurant in the East Village? And thank you, Serena, it IS gross. ugh, vegans.

ew is child teacher flirting with Dan? I know she's a lit teacher, but he's 17!

"it's what's going to happen is what you should be worried about"
"is it war?"
"YES...I need to wait for my moment then I'm going black ops."

GG 1.12.09: What now, people? It's not like I brought a tuna sandwich.

What now, people? It's not like I brought a tuna sandwich.

Monday, January 12, 2009 at 10:42pm

"courage, nephew..." please.

so, jack is old enough to be chuck's legal guardian, but not too old to sleep with a 17-year-old? Are we to believe that Blair would let him blackmail her later with this whole New Year's thing? she'd stick him with statutory.

"why do you wear so much purple?"

the step girls in plaid this week. mmm, i'm ok with it.

"you noticed that thai waitress i was gonna take homoe the other night had a penis, so consider us even."

since when does Serena not get gossip girl texts when everyone else gets them?

AH Nelly, I like you less and less.

wow, Vanessa needs to work on her fake smile.

holy crap, Blair, does Serena know you borrowed her dress? and her cleavage? WOW.

HAAAAAA...Blair snatched that eclair off Isabel's plate like a crazy pageant mom.

Jenny and Eric...YES, this is the most realistic fight that's ever been on this show. I might even overlook that sick rattail braid.

hahaha "it's not like i brought a tuna sandwich."

Chuck's not stupid enough to bring those skanks back to the office. but he is. dammit.

well they don't technically share DNA with each other, right? I mean, it's creepy, but there's a way around this, right? No? too creepy?

"you don't think i've thought of this boy every day of his life?" HA. Lily, now's not the time to make jokes.

OH Rufus stop talking about your "rockstar" days in bed. And while you're at it, take off your wooden bead bracelets and leather cuff, they're making me dry heave.

AH the kid's dead, isn't he! is he? i think he is.

a little more hillbilly than you can handle? yeah, us, too. but i love love! i'm so torn.

I KNEW it. well, problem solved. phew.

wow, chuck's said "i'm sorry" 2 episodes in a row. this time with hot pink peonies, even. that's enough to make any girl forget about the hookers you caught him with 3 hours earlier.

He's dead, you can be together! see, good things happen to good people.

AAAAH He's not dead! mother fu----. I hate this kid already. I should have seen this coming. I got too excited.

GG 1.5.09: You don't surprise someone standing on the edge of the building!

You don't surprise someone standing on the edge of the building!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009 at 12:52am

I'm just now watching this, so I apologize for the delay. here we go.


jenny's back in her uniform. with hot pink tulle underneath, of course.

WTF...is he in China or is he in a Chinatown "massage parlor"? in a kimono.

i know eric had dark hair before, but i'm still not used to him sans-
highlights.

nice FB stalking, Dan. we all do it.

now we're parting Jenny's bangs in the middle?

whoa, Nelly (ha) my friend Kristen had those glasses in 1988.

wow, winter white's the new black.

Chuck's in bad shape, but at least he's still in a velour suit.

"you look tan." nice try, Dan.

YES!!! she broke up with Brooklyn hipster artist douche. and we didn't even have to see him again.

whoa...PDA already? I'm gonna go vomit now, too.

It's a boy! congrats.

"I was gonna be a rock star..." HAAAhahahaha

Can you smoke a j on the CW? even if you're Chuck Bass, that seems like something that censors would catch.

Chuck WOULD have joints pre-rolled and in a silver cigarette case.

she is 9 levels hotter than Dan. that's the only lucid thing Jenny's said all season.

Plaid headband. it's not a bow, but I can live with it.

"I know, I was surprised, too...that's not entirely true."

suck it up, Blair, you have to impress strangers in argyle.

penelope's sleeping with her dad's junior partner. obviously.

"did Chuck Bass say something?" uh...i think Dan would know which Chuck you're referring to without using his last name, Rufus.

"in some Jim Morrison downward spiral."

YES..they ARE all in argyle. I knew it.

Dan found out that Rufus was calling adoption agencies and he's shocked that the secret is an illigitimate kid? I wouldn't tell Yale about this one, Humphrey.

"I frequently feed the ducks at central park..."

"i see her quite a bit on page six."
"and quite a bit of her."
yeah, we all do, lady.

WAAAAIT...Jenny did her roots between scenes. LIke we wouldn't notice.

Of course you weren't ready for a kid, Lily. You're 40 and you don't take care of your kids now.

"he has a thing for rooftops"

I know Chuck's in turmoil and everything, but his hair shouldn't have to pay the price.

YES...an "I'm Chuck Bass!" is always better with tousled hair on the edge of a 30 story building.

He took her hand...i think i might cry.

What the hell happened on New Year's??

do they not have tailors in Brooklyn? I know they do, in fact. Rufus needs Lily, if only to make him hem his jeans.

GG 12.8.08: Nobody's comforted by a tuna tower

nobody's comforted by a tuna tower

Monday, December 8, 2008 at 9:36pm

GIANT bow! there haven't been nearly enough bows on headbands lately. redeemed.

hahaha...Blair's eating her feelings in bagels with lox and cream cheese. so true.

no funeral cleavage, that's disappointing.

Lily's mom happened to be walking by the exact central park entrance when rufus walked out? that's likely.

Chuck's grieving has interferred with his hair. this IS a tragedy.

"well i got it first..." subtle, Dan. and mature. it's like he's...17.

Brooklyn hipster artist douche has a funeral scarf. i hate him.

hahahaha...fake hug and half smile. that's fantastic.

"that's when i got my first taste for single malt."

Lily wore her hair down for the funeral? Bart's death is taking its toll on everyone's hair. this is awful.

HAAAAA...why is Rufus's singing voice higher than mine?

"I'm not maternal, I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish."

Elenor is going to wear somethign on her wedding day designed by Jenny Humphrey? very YSL. Yeah, Jenny's very YSL. HA. NEVER.

Jonathan came for Eric! awwwwwww. gay teenage love is so sweet!

I wish chuck had caught Lily's hand as she tried to slap him but he's wasted, so he doesn't have quick enough reflexes. damn.

ooooh, Blair runs like a duck. that wasn't flattering at all.

AH! She said it! he'll say it back by the end of the episode. right?

Serena's really thinking about going to Buenos Aires for Christmas? and the question is whether or not to leave Dan? not her mom, whose husband just died?
"if you wanna go, go. if you don't, don't." of course that's what he said. i hate boys.

"this muffin is apricot. i wanted cranberry, they gave me apricot." good escape.

First the bagel, now crying and opening up to Cyrus? Vulnerable Blair makes me want to cry, too.

WTF is that jacket? and how does Jenny do these things so quickly? this isn't Project Runway. and there aren't 15 year olds on that show.

WAIT...did Lily just make plans with Rufus to go away for Christmas? You have another kid, remember? Maybe Eric can borrow Dorota from Blair for the holidays.

AH Blair gave Dorota a headband for the wedding.

OH. MY. GOD. Chuck...I...I'm..speechless.

Rufus's note to the kids said "it's all good" he's so hip.

The National getting some GG Soundtrack action...good for them. Lacee and I are pretty sure our cameo in their last video got them some recognition. you're welcome, guys.

AAAAAAAAAAAA...we knew it!

GG 12.1.08: I gave her that headband

I gave her that headband

Monday, December 1, 2008 at 9:55pm

"the whole 'Brooklyn artist' thing"
"it's an acquired taste"
Yeah, no shit.

Penelope would never go to Jenny to design a dress for her. She would never give her the satisfaction. please.

Lily's wearing clip-on earrings? Is she 90?

Aaaand there they are. that's why she had to change after school.

Is Lexi wearing Serena's uniform from this morning?

AH Brooklyn hipster artist douche SCARF. I want to strangle him with it.

Blair would NEVER think Brooklyn hipster artist douche is hot. NEEEEEEVER.

Obviously Vanessa would accept that dress. she's poor.

what a clever hiding place for the secret key to the locked drawer. under the paper weight, no one will ever find it. genius.

and there they are again.

"i gave her that headband" YES

BART! I knew it.

GG 11.17.08: What? My hair?

What? My hair?

Monday, November 17, 2008 at 11:29pm

Thank God they cut Jenny's bangs. maybe now she can see...how stupid that haircut is.

You know how they always said that the city was the other main character in Sex and the City? That's what Serena's boobs are now.

Hipster art douche's Bill Cosby sweater...ugh.

hahaha Blair's disgust faces are my favorite thing in the whole wide world.

hipster art douche and his many many scarves..ugh again. at least they're consistent. and realistic b/c hipster art douches do love scarves.

wow, she put them away for Thanksiving.

AAAAAHAHAHA Dorota's cell phone ring is Britney Spears' Slave. I f-ing love this show.

The FBI sure puts a lot of faith in teenagers. I've heard that. they're pretty laid back over there.

Nate's back on Vanessa now? That was fast. It's like he's 17 or something. oh right.

GG 11.10.08: Stop saying "guerilla fashion show." Please.

More than a month before this episode aired, I got these pictures from my friend Lisa in an email that said:
SPOTTED: gossip girl's Serena Van der Woodsen, outside our building in Times Square kissing a mystery man! so, S, who's the lucky guy?
see you friday ;)
lisa


Unfortunately, the lucky guy was Aaron Rose (hipster artist douche) sent to annoy me with his greasy hair and many scarves.


Stop saying "guerilla fashion show." Please.

Monday, November 10, 2008 at 11:04pm

"Serena, how's the sexy artist?" sexy artist?? sick, no.

Does anyone know someone who would have business meeting with a 15-year-old? me neither.

Chuck at a hockey game? HAAAAAAAAha, never.

Dan's meeting with the sr editor at NY Magazine? These Humphrey kids are really getting a jump on their careers.

Blair in a beret! oh, finally. thank you.

Why is Serena acting so goofy while she's posing for Aaron? I love her, but this is really annoying me. and he's a photographer, too? how cliche.
And AAAH! her face is everywhere! As if it were possible for him to creep me out more.

This isn't news to anyone, but MAN, they're really playing up Serena's boobs this year. every single outfit.

I really wish they would stop saying "guerilla fashion show"
And what's the big deal, anyway, Jenny? Make some new dresses and quit crying and screaming. it's hurting my ears.

"i wanted a harry winston choker for my birthday, instead i got a conscience."
(on a side note: Lacee and I once told 2 guys at bar that she was Harry Winston's daughter and that the giant cocktail ring I was wearing was a real diamond--Harry's graduation gift to me.)

the surprising thing is not Aaron dating every girl in Williamsburg, because he's a douche. the surprising thing is anyone dating him. because he's a douche.

HAhahahahah...Jenny's back on the street with her sewing machine.
and wow, she came to that divorce-my-parents conclusion in record time

Serena, put some clothes on! ooooh, he's bringing out her free spirit. I get it. he's so free-spirited. gross.