Found: Apartment, Will to Live

I feel extremely unorganized and unprepared for the impending move, but I’m getting yelled at for the lack of recent posts. I’m sorry! I haven’t even had time to watch ANY of Today Throws a Wedding, if it makes you feel any better, and I love that crap. I don’t even know their names this year, and I used to vote online and everything. I know, I’m gross. But what if that poor girl ended up with that hideous dress and it’s all my fault because America has horrible taste and I didn’t vote! I couldn’t let that happen. Thanks to the horrendous nightmare that is moving in this damn city, this year’s bride didn’t have me on her side. I don’t even really care about wedding stuff and I don’t know that girl, but unless she kicks puppies for fun or killed her entire family, she doesn’t deserve to have to wear a heart-shaped diamond ring.

If America didn't come through for you, 2009 Today Bride, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to help. The good news is that I found an apartment, so congratulations to me. If you haven't already, you should start thinking about what you'd like to get me for a housewarming gift. And don't try to get away with that Italian thing of giving a loaf of bread and a penny. I don't care about symbolism and I'm not Italian.