Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I hope he ends up with Vienna

If you’ve watched The Bachelor with any consistency, then you know that ABC seems to be trying to out-boring itself with the snoozefest of dorks they cast as the bachelor. And this year they’ve really outdone themselves with Jake Pavelka. The only way this idiot could be less funny, is if he were in a coma. Actually, maybe he’d be funnier in a coma. Like if the doctors got bored one day and drew a mustache and a pirate eye patch on his face with a Sharpie, and then got a parrot to sit on his shoulder telling knock-knock jokes. That would be the funniest thing he’s ever done. And he didn’t even do it. He’s in a coma. He should thank those doctors.

He was on Jimmy Kimmel the other night, and for the love of Christ, I dare you to try to watch this whole thing without cringing every time he tries to make a joke. It’s like watching…I don’t know, what’s the least funny thing ever? Dane Cook? It's like watching Dane Cook without the wild gesturing and squatting.  Not so funny, is it?

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