In case you were thinking of seeing The Addams Family musical...

I can’t really pretend to know anything about the theater scene in New York (or culture in general, really) but I know that Broadway tickets cost like $100 and no one wants to pay $100 to be disappointed. $100 is a lot of money. Not to me, of course, I use $100 bills to throw at anyone who approaches me on the street because poor people are sad and usually creepy and I don’t need that negative energy bringin me down, but for other people, $100 is probably like, at least 2 meals or something. Anyway, my friend Jon made a really helpful website. What a guy. Sorry ladies, he's taken!

www.stagegrade.com

If the guy in the picture had used it, maybe he wouldn't look so confused. I know everyone looooves Phantom of the Opera, but the organ music is a bit excessive and where did he get ALL those candles?

The kid's got UPS

Brian Kownacki came in to pinch hit for Fordham yesterday when they were down 9-1 against Iona, and he either really really wanted to win, or Iona catcher James Beck has something contagious that we don’t know about. I hope it’s the first thing, because ew.



They Robert Downey Jr-ed and ended up winning 12-9. Congrats, kids.

Sting receives human rights award in Chile--Wait, no, this is a different story

I know everyone’s all up in arms about Sting taking $2 million dollars to perform for dictator—president president! —Islam Karimov and everything, because over in Uzbekistan he’s always torturing people and fixing elections, and reporters who oppose him mysteriously get shot three times at close range, and one time he ordered the massacre of 200 civilians including women and children, but in Sting’s defense: Cannonball!



And in my defense: I've always thought Sting was kind of a dick. I win!

Hugh and I have a lot in common

I said this a while back, and now someone's finally backing me up.

Hugh Hefner talked to the Las Vegas Review-Journal the other day (for some reason) and when asked if he thought Tiger could be faithful from now on, Hef said…

“He can if he wants to. But this whole idea that it’s a sex addiction is a copout. Some people become obsessed with sex, but it’s not like an alcohol or drug addiction. He did it because he could get away with it.”

Say what you want about Hugh Hefner and his live-in whores, but he’s 100% honest about being a womanizing maniac, and those girls know exactly what they’re doing. In fact, they just run around in shorts and eat ice cream in bed. If you were born without self respect or a gag reflex, it wouldn't be a bad gig.

2010 Census confirms: Hipsters are apathetic. World gasps.

They say the census is important. The government needs to know how many people there are in whatever city you live in, so they can give out money for schools and hospitals and stuff. Ok, that makes sense, I’ll buy it. Also, if you don’t fill one out, you won’t get a nametag for the big USA party at the end of the year. I think the American Idol cast is going to perform, it should be really good. Unfortunately, according to the New York Times, some of us might not be invited:

New York is a city of procrastinators.
Or at least that is what the Census Bureau hopes. The more pessimistic view is that New Yorkers simply don’t care.

New York City is way behind on sending in their census forms, is their snotty point. Bloomberg put together this list of who is the MOST way behind, and hold on to your Ray Bans:

bringing up the rear is Williamsburg in Brooklyn, with a rate of 31.3 percent

Williamsburg?! I haven’t been this surprised since that time I was the least surprised ever.




Ok, I haven’t filled out mine either, but I WILL. I really will. And if you happen to know where I live, shut up.