Wednesday, September 9, 2009

As if this could get creepier



The first part of this video is even creepier than the creepy thing it advertises to be about in the first place. The sicko nutjob who kidnapped that girl and held her captive in tents in his backyard for 19 years, tried to be a musician a million years ago and…uuuuh…Did he just say they found human bones in his backyard? But they don’t know if it’s another victim because there are Native American burial grounds in the area? WHAT? Wait, is this the Poltergeist plot?

Man, what a great movie. When I was little I’d sit on the kitchen floor and hope I’d scoot across the room. It never worked. If we had Indian ghosts, they weren’t mad enough to haunt me. I should have made that offensive cartoon Indian sound with my hand over my mouth. Or poured a bottle of whiskey down the drain. That’d probably do it.
“You only moved the headstones!” That Steven Spielberg knows what he’s doing. One day he’ll be huge.

Anyway, first off, this guy was already convicted of kidnap and rape in 1976. The kidnap-and-rape combo seems like it’d carry a mandatory life sentence, because those psychopaths don’t stop being psychopaths, but for some horrifying reason, it doesn’t. So if you get caught kidnapping and raping someone, just be patient, you’ll be back at it in no time. Play a game of Monopoly with that guy who stole a car, you’ll be out before he will.

How this maniac’s parole officers missed the tent city in his backyard and the 3 people living in it, I can’t pretend to understand, but it all worked out because 19 years later he ran into someone competent and was caught. Again.

He’s all crazy religious and his neighbors call him “Creepy Phil” (I think one of them must have taken a creative writing class or two) and now, to top it all off, he was also a bad amateur musician in the 70s! AAAH! Oh, the lyrics are about little girls, that's the scary part.

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