It was just a matter of time

I’m living the Mac commercial today, and it makes me feel like a pop culture failure and a traitor to my generation. I’m a middle-aged, overweight, balding, suit-wearing PC. Cool kids, I’m sorry. It’s not because I don’t want a Mac. I’m not like, a loyal PC-user or something. I don’t even hate Justin Long as much as most people do. I’m just cheap. My bank account would argue that fact, but it feels wasteful to spend 2 or 3 times more for something than necessary. Until today. “I just want something without a million viruses and a ton of headaches.” It’s like they’re inside my mind.

I don’t like to do stuff that might be difficult or irritating, so last night when it started hemorrhaging pop-up windows that said I had a virus, I just turned it off and ate a brownie, but thanks to the talented and handsome IT guys at my office, I can put off personal technological advancement for as long as I want. Which is until Paul gets someone to give me a discount on a new Mac. Paul?

Publicly guilting people into doing me favors is the #1 reason I write this thing. Paul??