Impossible

Shout out to Frank, who could not possibly have done what he just told me he did, but if he did do what he says he did, then we should all be really impressed by what he did. If he did it. Frank loves the Yankees (there’s no way to describe how much, they don’t make words for it), and I happen to have access to some baseball stuff. I recently sent him some leftover swag from last year’s all-star game, which included a bottle of French’s spicy brown mustard (b/c this is New York and we don’t do yellow mustard) with the Yankees logo on the front. If this is true, the concept of condiments is changed forever in my mind.

I ate the entire bottle of mustard last night.

On something? In something? With a spoon? I don't understand.

Frank loves the Yankees so much that he came to town last year for All-Star at Yankee Stadium. The Saturday before, we took a roadtrip to the Baseball Hall of Fame. I had to get up at 6 because Frank really wanted as many hours as possible in Cooperstown. To look at baseball crap. All day long. We arrived at the Lakeside Lodge around 12:30 and were greeted by the innkeeper, Toby. Toby was socially awkward, which seems like the opposite personality type you want in an innkeeper, but he said there was going to be french toast for breakfast, so I didn’t question his employment. At that point, we began to realize that it was less “lodge” and more romantic bed and breakfast. Frank and I were not (and are not now) romantically involved, so it amused us and inspired this:

Romantic Trip to Cooperstown: A (Fictional) Story in Pictures
















Later on, Toby got a phone call and I’m sure he regrets it now, but he let the machine pick it up and in turn, let anyone who was downstairs hear it. An old man who I assume owns the joint, is really serious about breakfast:
“Tobias, I’ll be out of town for a couple more days…hope things are going well there…I’ll be back on Monday…(long pause)….Don’t F—K up the eggs in the morning.”

I actually never even got any eggs (or french toast, for that matter) but it was a fun trip and Cooperstown is adorable: