A while ago I talked some shit about Swine Flu, and it must have read that post and thought “she thinks that she and her friends are immune—haha, pun INTENDED (Swine Flu loves puns)—well I’ll show her,” because Rachel’s officially been diagnosed. After it infected Rachel in retaliation to my mocking, it also thought, “I really wish I could shake this nickname. It’s H1N1!” Well take it from me, Swiney, if people call you something for 30 years, that’s your name. Sorry. Melissa has been Mel for almost my entire life, it’s not going to change. Laine can’t even get people to stop calling her “Lainey.” That’s just one letter.
Actually, Rachel’s a teacher and kids are dirty and like to lick things, so that’s probably what happened. Rach, I’m so sorry you’re all flu-y and quarantined. We’ll miss you tonight. If you get really bored, run around Soho and sneeze on people.
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and now that you know swiney reads your blog, please try not to antagonize his friends cancer and the hiv, cuz i can't take the repercussions!
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