Less boring ways to die

There’s a headline on the Today show website right now that seems sensationalized, but maybe they know something I don't:

Can your flip-flops kill you?

Uhhh...no? Flip flops? No, right?
Like, set-off-a-chain-of-events-Final-Destination-style kill you?
Oh, germs? Shut up.

On a related note: THE Final Destination comes out IN 3D on some Friday in the relatively near future (I don’t have the time to look things up, I’m way too busy spending time writing about how I don’t have the time to look things up) and holy crap, it promises to be just as ridiculous as we all hope it to be. I had forgotten all about the Final Destination movies until a few months ago when Tony ordered the second one on Netflix and we all watched it right before we went to the carnival in Brooklyn, which could be the most horrifying thing to do after watching Final Destination 2. Obviously, Skinner and I almost died on the twirly ferris wheel.

I’m not kidding, that thing was terrifying. The cars flipped over upside-down and something on our car was held on with a zip tie. Had this scene taken place in that movie, my huge scarf dangerously dangling outside the car waiting to get tangled on the rusty 30-year-old screws that held that death trap together, would have definitely been my cause of death.

There are a lot of ways to die, and let me tell you, if you’ve ever cheated Death, you might not want to go tanning or make spaghetti.