Jersey takes it

The Real Housewives of New York are completely ridiculous (although I give Bethenny a pass because I think she's hilarious, and she's only in this thing for the book sales, which I don't think she'd hesitate to admit) and they have no idea, which is what makes it so fantastic. If you’ve missed this season, Kelly is the newest and the most nauseating of the bunch.

Kelly: “I just don’t have time to work on Jill’s charity. I don’t even have time for my own charities!”
Luann: “What charities do you do?”
Kelly: “Oh, I don’t do charities.”

I didn’t even make that up. Point being, you have to be borderline clinical to make the Real Housewives of New York look classy, but by God, New Jersey did it. It’s pretty impressive, actually. How could they possibly make those idiots look better by comparison? Super guido trashiness ON TOP of the absurdity. That’s how. YES!

1. Dina: I think this picture says more about Dina than I could ever say.

2. Danielle: She prides herself on being one of the first women in New Jersey (and 14th person in the country) to have a Black American Express Card and her history of celebrity hook-ups is one for the record books.
Immediately followed by: An active member of her local parish, Danielle attends mass regularly and engages her daughters in religious education and community involvement through the parish.
That's just perfect. I can't make it better.

3. Caroline: Supports her son’s decision not to go to college, but instead pursue his "goal" of opening a strip club/car wash. That’s not a typo. A strip club, that is also a car wash.
At least make him go to Rutgers, come on.




4. Teresa: In the scenes from the upcoming season, she throws a table over at a restaurant during an argument. THROWS an entire damn table OVER. You’d think that things like that would happen a lot in Jersey, but I’ve been there for dinner many times and I’ve never seen it. Point Teresa.

5. Jacqueline: Jacqueline is Lorraine Bracco in Goodfellas. She married into the family and you can tell that at some point, she was normal, but now she’s been totally sucked in and there’s no getting out. She’ll be hiding coke from the Feds in no time.





May 12th, we’re waiting. Incidentally, the message board for RHNJ is almost as entertaining as the show. “Real NJ Wife” and “ChaCha sMama” are really on top of things.

Real NJ Wife
March 19, 2009 - 11:34 AM
Thanks Bravo. Now every single housewife of New Jersey is going to have a bad rap thanks to these 5 wackos. Did you really do your research before selecting these women? I guess Dina Manzo is just looking for some kind of celebrity. At least let America know that her wedding was on VH-1 and she is just a gold digger. Why don't you finally smarten up and do a show on real women who have real jobs and real families, not nannies and housekeepers. But then again, I will let these so-called "housewives" hang themselves and let America see for themselves all the fakeness and back stabbing liars that they really are!!

ChaCha_sMama
March 22, 2009 - 06:42 AM
I think they choose certain characters in their Housewives show because of the drama.

You two should crack code for the CIA.